Final Words

In October 2010, Derek Crowley, my Dad, passed away. He was 62. We all thought he was in good health, so this came as a total shock to the family. I was 25 at the time. As far as we know, he has spend most of his final day doing his favourite hobby, fishing. From what we know, he was just setting off on his bicycle home when it happened. His body was found by a passer by, and by all accounts he passed away of a massive heart attack very suddenly before he was found. In the years prior, mainly due to my mums work as a researcher, the conversation of ‘would you rather live shorter in full health or longer with bad health’ had cropped up from time to time. He always said that shorter in full health would be his preference. He was an active man and loved the outdoors. This has been some comfort to me and the family, knowing that, if you have to go, spending the day doing your favourite thing and then gone really isn’t the worst way to go... The last time I spent with him was a walk through the woods near our house. If I’m honest, I was eager to get back for some evening work that day, but I always had time for a walk with my Dad. I don’t remember a thing of what we talked about, but I’m so happy I chose to spend that extra hour or two with him while I had the chance. The two things I was personally most sad about in the months after were, firstly, the robbed experiences that he wouldn’t be there fore (any future possible wedding he wouldn’t be there for, he wouldn’t get to play with any children I might have in the future etc). And secondly, that I didn’t get to say goodbye or have any closure with him. I felt this so strongly that I even wrote him a letter that I still have, but that no one will ever read. It is in an envelope in my desk drawer right now. It is addressed to ‘Dad’. My family were all amazing during the this time and being with them made everything much easier. But, when I found myself alone at any time over the next few months, I’d begin crying quite easily, particularly at bedtime. Music and songwriting has always been a source of solace and I wrote quite a few songs during the next couple of years, so I wrote a lot, most will never be heard, most Ive forgotten. There were a few tracks I actually finished and ‘Final Words’ was the most on the nose way I could put it while still being something listenable. Passing away in the manner my Dad did, he didn’t have his ‘final words’. Or if he did, nobody heard them. And us a a family didn’t get to have our final words with him, or we didn’t release they would be at the time. So that’s where the ‘There are no final words, just grief’ line comes from. All the rest of the lines in the song are pretty self-explanatory. Final Words Sometimes you get lonely In the middle of the night No one there fore you Nothing left to fight Sometimes you get lonely In the middle of the night Though you I cannot see I know you’re watching over me You left me never even said good-bye You didn’t have a choice, you’re justified You left me all I have is disbelief And there are no final words just grief Sometimes in the evening When I just can’t sleep I think of you It’s all I seem to do Sometimes I get restless When the stars come out See the word differently To how it used to be You left me never even said good-bye You didn’t have a choice, you’re justified You left me all I have is disbelief And there are no final words just grief Read more here https://www.andyguitar.co.uk/online-lessons/final-words-original-song-by-andy-crowley/ Get on iTunes http://goo.gl/0IPPWP Get on Amazon http://goo.gl/XgmDUw Official website @ http://www.andyguitar.co.uk/ © 2012 ANDY CROWLEY. ALL RIGHTS RESERVED. WRITTEN, PRODUCED AND PERFORMED BY ANDY CROWLEY.